insensitive...

yeah when that word comes into your mind very often at least one person will appear in your mind...today i kinda made 3 ppl think of me like that...and the most painful thing was to hear 'her' indirectly say it...i can be ignorant of others feelings at times and well...the thing is i never mean most of the things i say...its kinda a gesture of sinical remark to show care and attention coz well i always thought a sinical remark is better than totally ignoring someone...right...? at least from where i kam from thats how it is...

feel really bad...dunno why i keep doing it, knowing i am gonna hurt people and in the process hurt myself worse...i guess its my defense mechanism...thats how i have shieldd myself from pain all this while, looking at things around me, the best way is sometimes to totally recede allowing yourself a time to escape the situation where you will even have to put yourself into someones shoes...

the pain ...well i like it...my whole life has been full of it...i just wish i can take away others' coz well wat i go through is really nothing nevertheless i never wanna see ppl around me get hurt...and if i am the cause of that pain, i dunno where else to have faith that i can somehow take every1's pain away...even i its a soul that i hurt, a tiny little soul it still hurts...

insensitive...yeah i know it spells out my name clearly...for all its worth and all i am i am really, truly, deeply sorry...if i have hurt anyone, even unconsciously...especially 'you'

have a nice night!