the depths

its like i do not know what you want anymore...is it peace or time...its like we cant even talk anymore...at least heart to heart...its like the skies fell apart or the oceans turned green, the wind blowing away from the seas or the leaves rolling awkwardly down only to be tramples by bystanders...i do not understand this at ol, haf never been here b4, haf never gone so far off the shore haf never been so blinded...i am what i am only because i need to not be cause i want and in doing so, all i ever wanted is the need to be a want some day but when the need fades and the want does not set in, i am in pieces...i am lost...i do not know what i want anymore...i am back where i started hollow on the inside...what i thought could fill me is actually killing me, what i thought could be for my own good is begnning to take its toll at the words i once heard not so long ago actually...what is this feeling...? i do not even recognise it anymore, and yeah i do not even recoznise myself anymore...the anomalous depths of uncertainty remains the same, the hope of tapping some wisdom results in a jubiloustap of insanity...where am i now...? how did i get here...? is this really who i am..? cold, hard and hexed of the inside...and then the question remains...what is that you want from me...? is this all merely but a test...if so how do i know which way to take...is there a right path...? more importantly is thre a disasterous path...?
i grew up knowing there is no good or bad decisions in life...there is those u make and those you don't make...if those you made dint turn out right then you analyse how things could change for the better...for the better...?hmmm....what does better actually mean...? whu is better for...? is it for u...?is it for me...? is it to hurt me...? or is it a kick you get out of something like when a kid topples anothers puzzle construction...so i am here once again wondering, is there anything i could haf done to make things right...? or at least better...for YOU!

Lord, i lay it down...all of me....